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Tuesday, December 18, 2012



Twelve Days of Christmas

I don't see the charm of sitting on an old man's lap to get what I want. On any other day of the year outside of Europe this would be considered creepy and would be cause for alarm. OK, maybe I'm just bitter because I'm clearly on Santa's Naughty List this year.

If I believed in sharing my wishes with an old man who would respond with "ho, ho, ho", I'd make them good. I'd have just a few simple requests:

1) I wish that chocolate were a cure for hangovers.

2) I wish that, sober, I could be as witty and clever as I think I am after a couple glasses of wine.

3) I wish I could target weight gain only to my boobs.

4) I wish that karma actually were instant. Only then could I take the high road.

5) I wish that chocolate could regenerate lost brain cells. I know, I'm asking a lot of chocolate but I give it so much love. It needs to love me back.

6) I wish that excessive Type A behaviour were attractive to men.

7) I wish that cellulite were a sign of wisdom, beauty and power.

8) I wish that The Secret actually worked. I have a lofty vision board waiting for realization.

9) I wish I could go back in time to slam someone with the best comeback ever.

10) I wish that a Victoria's Secret bra could have the same effect on me as on a Victoria Secret model.

11) I wish that Oprah or Heather be more responsive to my stalking. Why won't they answer their doorbells? Or their cell phones, work phones, pagers and home phones?

12) I wish that the Twelve Days of Christmas be modernized to a list as logical and reasonable as mine.

Why wish for material things when super powers are so much more appropriate? Who's with me on this? I'm giving away a free copy of my novel "Why I Love My Gay Boyfriend". Any takers?

About the Author:
Sabrina Zollo is a marketer and author who lives in Toronto, Canada. She has been compulsively writing stories since childhood. She graduated with an MBA from York University and has worked in brand management for almost ten years. Sabrina is a consummate lover of Pinot Grigio, dark chocolate, shoes and spin class.



  1. If only chocolate could regenrate brain cells. You never know... :)

  2. Congrats to Na for winning a signed copy of my book Why I Love My Gay Boyfriend! Thank you also for supporting my far fetched beliefs on the power of chocolate. :)